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Obligatory food-issues post by 20-30 something female

September 27, 2009

Argh!

I wish I could say I was depressed, I got dumped, my dog died, my car was stolen, I was fired.  But life is fairly perfect.  Which is why it baffles me that at 4:12pm last Friday I bought a box of Entenmann’s doughnuts and by 6:03pm, the box was empty.  Eight.  Eight!

Every few months or so, this nasty gorging of something sweet will occur, and I can’t pinpoint its impetus, which drives me crazy.  You hear that many people, especially women, are emotional eaters, that they try to fill wounds with carbs.  While sure, I’ve got issues, nothing catastrophic as of late.  Pretty happy these days.

In an effort, to find out WHY?!?! I do this, I’m going to look back at the last three times I remember the Gorge.

1. College friend who I haven’t seen in fourteen years is in town.  I meet him, his friends, and another college friend at Sidetrack (they’re all gay boys).  We laugh, we reminisce, we talk like we just saw each other last week, not as sophomores in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts.  We go to dinner and continue to explore each other’s lives, genuinely happy for the others’ successes.  Five or so hours later, I walk home to Roscoe Village, so happy to have reconnected.  I stop at the Damen and Roscoe Speedway gas station and buy a bag of hostess powdered sugar doughnuts.  Not a bag like a single-serving five-doughnut bag, but a bag like a twenty-four? thirty-six? mini-doughnut bag.  It’s empty by the time I walk five blocks to my door.

2. I spend the majority of the day as a judge at WBEZ (Chicago’s public radio station), listening to submissions for an audio contest. Very interesting “Is this really my life?!?!” experience sitting in a room full of amazing pros like the Chicago Tribune’s Mary Schmich and host of All Things Considered Melba Lara.  Great opportunity for personal professional development and networking.  Plus scored free food, cash, and a heavenly-soft t-shirt!  Invigorating bike ride home from Navy Pier for a quick dinner/shower before I meet up with friends at a friend’s art show in Pilsen.  A great day.  So why do I pick up a bag of hostess powdered sugar doughnuts (again, the twenty-four? count) and consume them all at home before Pilsen in about an hour?

There was an incident of tears post-NPR and pre-Pilsen having to do with a guy.  Long story short – we hung out awhile ago,  I constantly found myself being THAT GIRL whom I hate who sits by the phone/alters plan to accommodate him only to be disappointed/gets strung along, we stopped hanging out but remained surface friends, we made plans for this weekend only for the same ol’ same ol’ to happen.

3. I felt sick for most of the day, but got a lot of work done (video editing at a bar that’s a coffeehouse in the morning is fun), snagged some amazing deals at the warehouse sale of my favorite Chicago shopping secret (Crate & Barrel items 50-70% off), and was really looking forward to ending the day with outdoorsy fun at Critical Mass.  Unfortunately by the time late afternoon rolled around, gray skies and rain, and worsening flu-like symptoms, made my couch seem a much better option than my bike.  But not before I bought a box of Entenmman’s and consumed the entire thing.

I don’t know.  The only connection I see between the three is that they were all on the weekend.  I have Gorged during the week.  I don’t know why I can’t buy one cookie, as opposed to one box of cookies.  I don’t know why I can’t keep anything sweet at home for more than a day, and why  it’s all I can think about when it does make it through my front door.  I have a full life.  I’m happy.  Tastes so good going down, tastes like utter-failure and self-loathing about three seconds after the last bite.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. October 11, 2009 2:32 PM

    I have a penis, and therefore don’t tend to do these food-gorging type things. However, I do notice myself being unusually grumpy for no obvious reason occasionally (actually with about the same regularity as you’re doing this stuff).

    I have come to the conclusion that this happens after I’ve been watching other people being successful. They can be being successful in all sorts of ways – even ones that I don’t care much about – and I can have had a great time watching them, or talking to them, or what have you. In fact I probably have had a great time. But then I get strangely grumpy.

    I could work this into a couple of your occasions above, but probably not the third. So this may be entirely unheplful. Well, hell, I’ve typed it now.

    • Travis permalink
      October 12, 2009 6:22 PM

      Sorry, Chris R, but being male has nothing to do with whether or not one binges on food.

  2. Leslie permalink
    October 1, 2009 3:59 PM

    Is it a binge or is it the pleasure of eating? You keep picking donuts. Is it that you can’t stop eating little round cakes, or is it that, once you start with the sensation of silky powdered sugar crossing your lips, you want more? It’s like the food equivalent of wearing a really soft sweater and petting your arm all day.
    I do this – I call it ‘eating for texture’. It’s a problem, yes, but once identified, half solved. And no, it doesn’t have anything to do with how your day went.

  3. Travis permalink
    October 1, 2009 1:28 PM

    I love chocolate cupcakes. I’ll eat half a dozen in a few hours if they’re available. Why do I do this? It’s usually connected to stress, but sometimes I just eat them to be eating them. The sugar high is just so damn good and so is all of the chocolate. Delicious cake was also a part of my childhood, so it’s comforting.

    I’ve also been known to drink half a six-pack or more of regular Dr. Pepper in one day. Not a great idea, especially since I try to maintain my weight and I do exercise regularly. But sometimes I’m so tired, it’s like my coffee. (Not a coffee drinker).

    I eat healthy food otherwise, so I figure a few transgressions won’t put me over the edge and turn me into a junk food junkie. Plus, I once heard some health guru say not to deny one’s self sweets all of the time. Otherwise, the urge to binge on them can be overwhelming.

  4. Emily permalink
    September 29, 2009 9:53 AM

    I think this boils down to three words: SUGAR. IS. GOOD.

    I had a binge myself this weekend, I’ll share so that you won’t feel so bad about that empty Ent’s box. Half a watermelon (check) Portillos cake shake (check), Culver’s cheese curds (check), bag of orange slice gummy candy (check), grab bag of NutterButters (check), one Reese’s Peanut Butter cup (check), and (during a month that I’ve given up soda) one cherry coke zero (check).

    What makes this ten times worse is knowing my boyfriend doesn’t even eat SWEET POTATOS because the nutritional value doesn’t match the caloric intake. Jerk.

    Some skeez is running around out there with all of the self-control I was supposed to have.

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