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I McMuffin you

August 5, 2010

I have to edit a project for two lovely real-estate agents who hired me to make a video for their website to attract potential clients.  These are the reasons, the burning questions clogging my head, progress on said-video has been slow today.

What’s etiquette for Reply All’s? I personally loathe the gazillion back and forths, unless it’s applicable that everyone be included in the response, and usually will BCC to avoid Reply All’s.  If someone sends an “Anyone interested in this activity?,” I usually just respond to the sender.  If someone sends a “Who can drive to this activity?,” it would be more appropriate for people to respond to the group, though my preferred method would be for everyone to respond just to the sender, and then the sender compile the responses and send one follow-up group email with the updated info.  Tricky situation.  Sometimes I’ve spoken up and felt uber-bitchy.  And sometimes the group email strings are fun and funny.

What’s the best “How We Met” story you’ve heard? I was at a BBQ this weekend and was intrigued by a couple with an interesting tale:

  • They both attended the same college but didn’t know one another
  • They were both in College X’s network on Facebook
  • One night, drunk, the girl was skimming through the network and saw a pic of the male
  • She thought he was cute and “poked” him
  • He followed up the next morning with a “Do I know you?” message
  • They emailed back and forth for a couple of weeks, then met in person, and are now married!

I once had a Missed Connection placed in the Chicago Reader about me [which are now called “I Saw You“] and ended up dating the guy for three months.  That was about three months too long, he was a tool, but oh how I wanted it to work out so we could retell the story at our wedding!

Would you rather get a personal gift or a practical gift? Gift card to Borders or a fave book from a friend with a note to you scribbled in the flap?  When it comes to weddings, I go back and forth between getting something in the registry or giving something like a photo collage of the couple’s relationship.   For my half birthday [really!], my boyfriend gave me a wireless router and handmade stationary that he designed and sewed [with the help of a friend] because he heard me say that I wished I could get internet on my rooftop deck and that I love stationary but feel guilty buying it.  For his birthday, I gave him a scrapbook of “This is why you’re great!” notes/letters/photos/poems/collages from friends and family all over the country who secretly sent them to me, and a garage door opener so he didn’t have to get out of his car to open and close the garage anymore.  It seems we both loved both types of gifts, the cold and technical and the warm and fuzzy.  Not sure which is better.

Why is there a new version of iTunes to download every other hour?

Should coffeehouses embrace squatters, those who sit with laptops for hours on end? Good for business, bad for business?  What’s appropriate etiquette when it comes this scenario – minimum purchase, time limit, size of table, eating your own food, conducting business, cell phone chats, asking others to watch your stuff, sharing tables, etc.  Coffeehouses in NYC have started to cover up outlets so that people can’t plug in.  I see both sides.  Frustrating when I go to a cafe for a quick drink and paper-read, only to be unable to find a seat due to laptoppers.  Being self-employed with a home office, I often go to a cafe to work for a change of scenary and stay three, four, seven hours.

Why is the initial “I love you” so hard to say? Vulnerability, putting yourself out there, I get that.  But it still shouldn’t be SO difficult!  I once very much wanted to say it, and started to say it – “I love…”  Nervousness got the better of me.  “I love…Egg McMuffins” is what came out.

Why do bars and restaurants advertise “Free Wi-Fi?” And who are the people whom take advantage?

When should you comment on someone’s physical appearance? I currently limp due to a recent trip to Europe and a client of a client, whom I had never met before, commented on it yesterday at a video shoot.  Albeit very nicely and out of concern, she had no clue as to whether it was a temporary or permanent situation, and my first thought was that I would never make such a comment to someone I don’t know — what if I limp because of a horrible beating I endured years ago, a situation I’d rather not rehash to anyone let alone a stranger?  And how many people do we know who’ve been in the “How far along are you?” situation, when it turns out a woman is just pudgy, not pregnant.

Should guys kick in for birth-control pills? Condoms seem to be a more equitable method, whose ever house you’re at, you use his/hers.  But the pill, that’s technically all on the female, yet don’t both parties benefit?   $20, $40 a month can add up.

How do you deal with constant requests to “get coffee”? For the past year or so, I’ve averaged about three requests a week to get coffee.  Usually it’s a friend of a friend or a Mingler guest, sometimes it’s a friend or a peer.  It’s usually someone who wants to work in a field I’m in [teaching, digital media, event planning] or who wants to become self-employed, and they want to pick my brain.  I used to always say yes.  Now I pick and choose.  Part of me feels horribly bitchy, part of me feels when you add them all up, they take a large chunk of time that sometimes nets me something, but often nets me nothing.  Shouldn’t I just do them out of the goodness of my heart?  I remember all the “coffees” people granted me when I was first starting out, that were incredibly helpful and I so appreciated.  But I also remember that I have a huge rent check due in a couple of weeks, and the hour with you is probably not going to help me pay that.  I’m in the process of adding “Coffee” to my business, where I’ll gather small groups of people who’ve contacted me for intimate, networking, brainstorm sessions.

What are some off-the-beaten-path steps in a relationship? We all know about the first kiss, the three-month mark, meeting the parents, first trip together, first sleepover, first fight, first fart, first “I love you.”  But what about more non-traditional ones?  When you give him the alarm code to your house, first time he buys you tampons, first time you let him see you without makeup or without your hair straightened, pooping with the door open…

Why don’t people handwrite thank-you notes anymore? I apologize to everyone who has ever done me a favor, and that’s a whole bunch of people, to whom I didn’t send at least a thank-you email if not a thank-you snail mail.  A card and a stamp goes a long way.

Why do guys so enjoy sniffing their body parts/functions? Armpits, nether regions, belly button, farts, burps.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. One-N Jen permalink
    August 10, 2010 1:01 PM

    I, for one, will never ever poop with the door open. Ever.

  2. Sarah permalink
    August 5, 2010 7:37 PM

    This is a combo etiquette / how people meet comment: Was out last night and a guy came up to me and said I looked familiar. We established that we did not know each other. But instead of continuing to talk (he said he had to go) or asking for my phone number, he asked me what my name was and if he could “look me up.” I didn’t think too much of it — he was cute and went to the trouble to approach me, so why not — and told him my name.

    I haven’t heard from him and I don’t expect to as the request was so much less committal than asking for a phone number, and guys who get your number often don’t follow through with a call. But is this a normal thing, now? Someone asking if they can Google / Facebook you instead of asking for actual contact info?

    And if so, why is it? Is entering a number into a phone too much of a bother, or do guys want to prescreen everyone they’re considering calling?

    • Sarah permalink
      August 5, 2010 7:59 PM

      Or, should I not have interpreted it as a come-on at all? Did he just want to Google / Facebook me so he could figure out why he thought he recognized me from somewhere? Is that what I should have assumed?

      • August 6, 2010 10:01 AM

        That’s a tough one Sarah. This whole internet thing has definitely changed dating. It’s a mixed-bag, how much info you can find out about someone before even really getting to know them. I found myself making the choice to no longer Google guys I started dating, so that I could learn about them via their mouths instead of via links. Too many awkward situations where I’d know something they hadn’t told me – do you play it off like it’s a new story, or do you say, “Oh yeah, I saw that on your blog”?

        I’m not sure what his motive was. Did you get his name? If so, have you Googled/FB’ed him? Odd that he asked to “look you up” and then didn’t follow through.

      • Sarah permalink
        August 6, 2010 11:29 AM

        I don’t Google guys before dates anymore, either — not since I once learned via Google that my date had in recent years testified against his father in a trial over his mother’s murder. It’s a tragic story. We only went on the one date, so I never had to pretend I didn’t know about it / had to admit I Googled him and DID know.

        Anyway, I have the same policy that you do and didn’t ask for this guy’s last name and honestly don’t remember his first name. Matt, Mark or Mike. We really only talked for 30 seconds. The whole thing was weird.

  3. Katie permalink
    August 5, 2010 4:16 PM

    I’ve got a “how we met” story for ya — a friend from Toronto met an English guy in France while on vacation. They continued to keep in touch after she returned to Toronto, dated long distance for a couple years, she eventually moved to France and now they are married and live in Dubai! (I always tell that to anyone who says long-distance relationships or dating someone you meet on vacation can’t work…)

  4. James permalink
    August 5, 2010 3:00 PM

    Here are a couple off the beaten relationship milestones that I’ve recently experienced… the first time she’s at your house alone. We were both working “from home” together from my home office. I had to run an errand while she stayed at my house for a couple of hours. did she go rifling thru my stuff looking for any incriminating evidence about me? 😉 a second one is letting her borrow my garage door opener to park in my garage… now she has access to all my camping gear and tools… yikes! that’s scary. 😉

    • August 5, 2010 4:04 PM

      Great ones James! Huge steps, especially for the Grill/Camping King of Chicago — you amaze me with all your knickknacks. Excited to Lake House it up with the King and see you in your full glory.

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