Five fights* I had before 8AM today
The soap in the shower has become a sliver. Do you use it up like a good-economical person should do, or do you open a new bar and leave the sliver, willing it to somehow disappear? Obviously, you suck it up and use the teeny soap for a few more washes, saving you billions.
Boyfriend retorts: “At that point, there’s so much hair on it, it won’t stick to the big soap, which is what you do with teeny soap; you stick it on the big bar. So I can’t use it and have to open a new one, and use just that one.”
He opened a new loaf. When there were still two pieces left of the old loaf. But he refuses to eat “the butt.” So again he leaves it, for the Magical Elf who tiptoes in at night to use soap slivers and eat bread butts.
3. Peanut Butter
“This is the worst thing ever.” Boyfriend’s reaction to the amount of peanut butter I left in the jar, unwilling to believe there was enough to make his breakfast. “You want this toast?”
I took the jar and scraped just the right amount of peanut butter onto each slice, and the then empty jar went into the trash. More billions saved.
“Nice knife placement.” Boyfriend insists that if you put the knives all the way to the right in the dishwasher silverware-holder, they will cut through said-dishwasher. I place the silverware in whatever compartment I see first and do not subscribe to the Knives of Ridiculous Strength & Power school of thought.
I was entrepreneuring at 2:34AM. Not in the I stayed up late sense, but in the I went to bed at 10pm and got up naturally at 2:34 sense. I’ve been known to do a 4:30, a 6:23 before; this wakeup was an early one! But I can’t control the entrepreneurial spirit within. When it calls, I listen. And that’s why I’ve been able to cobble together a living playing board games, hanging in coffeehouses, meeting interesting folk in my living room, and doing bad improv in front of a sold-out Park West.
“I can’t even describe my anger level right now. This is the worst thing ever. Can we talk about your sleep habits?”
While I’ll give him that routine and consistency is good, is healthy, Boyfriend just doesn’t understand what happens when you do what you love for a job. Yet. He’s on his way to becoming a passion-based entrepreneur too. Check out his shiny new website! He’ll be excitedly Macbooking at 3am in no time, as he finds a way to cobble together a living on (good) improv, beer, bikes, and connecting creative-types.
*Fights = sarcastic barbs lovingly thrown at one another; no actual material items thrown at one another