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Five fights* I had before 8AM today

July 26, 2011

1. Soap

The soap in the shower has become a sliver.  Do you use it up like a good-economical person should do, or do you open a new bar and leave the sliver, willing it to somehow disappear?  Obviously, you suck it up and use the teeny soap for a few more washes, saving you billions.

Boyfriend retorts: “At that point, there’s so much hair on it, it won’t stick to the big soap, which is what you do with teeny soap; you stick it on the big bar.  So I can’t use it and have to open a new one, and use just that one.”

2. Bread

He opened a new loaf.  When there were still two pieces left of the old loaf.  But he refuses to eat “the butt.”  So again he leaves it, for the Magical Elf who tiptoes in at night to use soap slivers and eat bread butts.

3. Peanut Butter

“This is the worst thing ever.”  Boyfriend’s reaction to the amount of peanut butter I left in the jar, unwilling to believe there was enough to make his breakfast.  “You want this toast?”

I took the jar and scraped just the right amount of peanut butter onto each slice, and the then empty jar went into the trash.  More billions saved.

4. Dishwasher

“Nice knife placement.”  Boyfriend insists that if you put the knives all the way to the right in the dishwasher silverware-holder, they will cut through said-dishwasher.  I place the silverware in whatever compartment I see first and do not subscribe to the Knives of Ridiculous Strength & Power school of thought.

5. Sleep

I was entrepreneuring at 2:34AM.  Not in the I stayed up late sense, but in the I went to bed at 10pm and got up naturally at 2:34 sense.  I’ve been known to do a 4:30, a 6:23 before; this wakeup was an early one!  But I can’t control the entrepreneurial spirit within.  When it calls, I listen.  And that’s why I’ve been able to cobble together a living playing board games, hanging in coffeehouses, meeting interesting folk in my living room, and doing bad improv in front of a sold-out Park West.

“I can’t even describe my anger level right now.  This is the worst thing ever.  Can we talk about your sleep habits?”

While I’ll give him that routine and consistency is good, is healthy, Boyfriend just doesn’t understand what happens when you do what you love for a job.  Yet.  He’s on his way to becoming a passion-based entrepreneur too.  Check out his shiny new website!  He’ll be excitedly Macbooking at 3am in no time, as he finds a way to cobble together a living on (good) improv, beer, bikes, and connecting creative-types.

*Fights = sarcastic barbs lovingly thrown at one another; no actual material items thrown at one another

7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 4, 2011 5:40 PM

    Dude. I might be Pete’s clone. If you and I were in the exact same circumstances, I would have reacted the same way he did – using the exact same words even. Sorry Saya, I’m way behind Team Pete on this one. Ha!

  2. July 26, 2011 1:43 PM

    Oh hunny, if only you knew about my eclectic lifestyle… i’m a germaphobe living in the US Virgin Island which is a close sister to any 4th world developing country…. our islands are so poor, the somali pirates fear us yet refuse to attack our sailing vessels since they are worthless and our citizens have no money to pay for ransoms… =)

    I am quite the eclectic male… and my eating habits? Oh my… it is a cultural event that children far and wide should attend…

    Oh well back to the beach life… loved your stuff…will be reading more…


  3. Travis permalink
    July 26, 2011 1:40 PM

    That’s why I use a manly-scented shower gel and she uses her own girly one.

    In my house, there’s a magical creature who refills all of our liquid soap dispenser. He bears a strong resemblance to me.

  4. July 26, 2011 10:18 AM

    I am so laughing at some of your examples… i must admit, i’m quite guilty of a number of man flawed thinking…

    in fact, I won’t eat the last 4 slices in any bread bag except for potato bread….I dunno why I do it…i just do…

    I don’t eat the last few slices of meat in a pack of sliced ham, turkey or other type of pack.

    i don’t eat chips that have been open for more than 3 days no matter how perfectly sealed they are (this comes from living in the Caribbean and everything becomes stale overnight)

    as for the soap…well…umm…lets just say I switched to shamppo for soap and leave it at that… I’m so wasteful… life is sweet however…

    As for the dishwasher…well if I can get a plate in there and some silverware, let’s just say that you should count yourself lucky…

    my house cleaning lady despises me at times… let’s also say she doens’t understand how I can place all of my clothes so neatly in the hamper, yet she finds my underwear all over the place is is so confused… argh…


    • July 26, 2011 11:17 AM

      Wow! Those are fantastically specific oddities. I don’t dare ask you your pet peeves.
      You’d probably be great at improv, funniest stuff is when people get uber-detailed. I can see a great scene involving packaged meat.

      Thanks for reading!

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